HELP
by pinkydog123
Summary: *EO AFFAIR* This is the SEQUEL to TELL ME and it takes place 3 DAYS AFTER AUTHORITY, i decided to add alot Eli in so enjoy, read TELL ME first and the story basically just takes off from there
1. Chapter 1

**OK, heres what i promised ya guyz, i hope you like the sequel to TELL ME, that took place after undercover, **

**WELL, this is HELP and it takes place 3 DAYS AFTER AUTHORITY and i thought i would add a little bit of Eli in here as well, and there WILL be EO in this, affair, so watch out, **

**SAME RULEZ APPLY AS ALWAYS, YOU GUYZ HAVE BEEN REALLY AWESOME WITH THE REVIEWS, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I STILL DONT LIKE GETTING THEM, IF YOU WANT A NEXT CHAPTER, TELL ME HOW YOU LIKE THIS ONE AND ILL ADD ANOTHER ONE :)**

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Olivia leaned back in her chair, clicking her pen unconsciously, continuing to do so.

"Can you refrain from doing that? Munch asked, peaking for the top of his glasses. She instantly stopped, too deep in thought to even know who told her to stop with the obnoxious noise. Her concentration was on the jacket draped over the chair in front of her.

He had worn _that_ jacket today. Olivia had given it back to him, but she could still remember the morning she woke up with it spread across her upper body.

At first when she woke up, his scent immediately enveloped her senses and she thought he had stayed, but than she felt the extra layer across her shoulders, she griped it and hugged it to her, bringing the material to her nose, basking in the scent of Elliot.

Olivia had no nightmares that night, and actually ended up dreaming of Elliot, he was lying in her bed, and she was wrapped in his arms, that's all, simple. But it turned out to just be his jacket. She smiled at how the simple gesture was so overwhelming towards her, but that was also a bad thing.

"Olivia!"

Her head quickly shot up to find Cragen standing by her desk,

"Did you finish the paper work on the Olsen case?" he asked, obviously irritated by something.

Her eyebrows shot up and she quickly looked down at the blank papers, she had been day dreaming the good part of the day way and didn't get to the paperwork that wouldn't have taken her long to finish if she actually took the time to do it.

"Um..no." she stated

Olivia picked up her pen and started to work as Cragen left to go to his office. She sighed and turned her head to the computer but winced when the skin on her neck jumbled together when she twisted it, causing pain to the irritation in her skin where Merrit hooked up the 'wires' to her neck, those white patched stuck pretty good and the only way Elliot could get them off was to rip them off.

It wasn't life threatening, it was just annoying that she let her guard down and got herself in that sort of predicament in the first place.

Olivia cursed to herself when she realized she was just staring at the computer screen, day dreaming again.

It had been a crazy few months, but that night didn't seem to change her and Elliot, in fact, they became closer, they were talking outside of work and actually making jokes again, everything seemed lighter between them and Olivia felt like she could actually breath around him again.

It helped her out a lot, she felt like she had her friend back and didn't seem so cornered whenever Elliot was around.

And with that thought running through her mind, she could feel Elliot walk in the squad room, she looked p and flashed him a bright smile, all he did was nod, and Olivia's brow wrinkled. _What's wrong? _

When he looked behind him that when Olivia saw Kathy walk in, a baby blue carrier dangling form her left hand. Olivia smiled when she saw the baby's little hands and feet flinging about, overwhelmed by his new and big surroundings.

Elliot walked over to his desk and Olivia stood up,

"Hey, Kathy, what's going on?" Olivia knew it was probably none of her business but she wanted Kathy to know that she did care, and Olivia wasn't quite sure where they stood, after Eli was born, Olivia really did want to make amends for anything she may of caused, but she really wasn't sure what she had done wrong.

Kathy walked to the side of Elliot's desk and now held the carrier with both hands,

"Nothing to big, I hope, um could you, could you watch Eli while I talk to Elliot?"

Olivia looked down at Eli and than over at Elliot and than back at Kathy again.

"Sure." Kathy nodded her head and managed to smirk. Kathy gently sat the carrier on her desk, revealing a bouncing boy.

Olivia chuckled and the baby turned his attention to her, a look of confusion flashed over his face, which she found adorable, but that quickly past when she reached an tickled his stomach, causing him to gurgle and laugh at the same time.

"He probably doesn't remember you……" Kathy trailed off. It had been a while since Olivia had seen Eli, which was too bad she wanted to know all of Elliot's children well, and she felt an attachment to Eli, after all she did watch Kathy give birth and she was the first to hold him.

"Oh, that's ok, huh?" she asked the little baby, flinging his legs about, wanting to get out of his chair.

"Can I?" she motioned towards Eli, looking over at Kathy.

"Ya, Elliot and I need to talk."

Elliot first watched Olivia as she undid the straps to the carrier and gingerly lifted him up, cooing at him as she did so, a smile tugging at his lips. Olivia's index finger smoothed over his plump cheek as she sat down on the chair, turning him around and placing him on her lap so he could get a better view of the busy squad room.

Elliot nodded towards Kathy, and watched as his sons eyes lit up when he said to him,

"See ya in a bit little man." Eli shrieked in excitement, pleased to have his father's attention for a few seconds.

When Elliot left Eli looked up at Olivia, but almost fell over, straining his neck for the effort,

"Oh! Don't hurt yourself baby." She soothed. Olivia turned him around so he was straddling her thighs, while her hands rested securely on his tiny sides. She smoothed her hand over his hair, thinking it was coming out to be the same color as Elliot's.

Eli started to become fussy and started to jump around her lap.

"Oh, is that what you want to do?" she asked in what she tried to do as a baby voice, Eli giggled and clapped his hands, Olivia laughed and lifted him up as he began to jump in Olivia's lap, her hands still at his sides.

Olivia looked over at the double doors and wondered what was taking Elliot and Kathy so long. Eli soon yawned and rubbed his left eye lazily. Olivia smiled, she desperately wanted a child, she knew how happy Eli made her when they spent time together, its just amazing to hold this little baby in your arms, someone who will grow and start a family of his own, Olivia laughed at the thought that maybe Eli would be the new cop in the Stabler family, his other kids weren't interested, but it was in your blood, its not a job you take, because its interesting, you take the job because you just know your suppose to, the job takes _you_ really.

Eli yawned again and Olivia pulled him to her chest, she felt touched when he rested his small head on her shoulder.

"Little Eli." She breathed, massaging his small back with her hand, nuzzling her cheek against his fuzzy haired head. Eli was almost asleep when Elliot and Kathy walked in, they both stepped aside of the door and Elliot rested his hands on his hips, as Kathy flung her hands around, Olivia couldn't hear the conversation but knew it wasn't pleasant.

Kathy shook her head and looked over at Olivia and the baby before walking out, Elliot sighed and plopped in his chair, his elbows coming to rest on his knees.

Eli had long fallen asleep in Olivia's arms as she looked at Elliot, trying to meet his gaze. She sighed and stood up from her chair, the squeaking of it caught Elliot's attention and he looked up to see her placing little sleeping Eli in his carrier, careful not to wake him up. Olivia strapped him in and smoothed her hand over his head and smiled, he looked so cut and innocent, his eyes moving under his eyelids, probably having a dream.

She couldn't resist, Olivia bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead. Than Olivia looked up and was surprised to see Elliot staring at her, his eyes moved from the carrier and than back to her almond colored eyes.

"He asleep?" he asked quietly, Olivia smirked and looked down at the little bundle,

"Ya, I guess he found me boring." She joked,

"It didn't take him too long to figure that one out." He said while getting up, a wide smile plastered on his face as he watched his youngest child dream,

"Oh." Olivia laughed with a smile, giving Elliot a small, playful push. Olivia's face turned serious and she sighed,

"What happened between you and Kathy just now?" she questioned, Elliot rested his hands on his hips, his eyes returning to little Eli.

"Kathy wanted me to take a week off from work to visit her mother, after I told her I couldn't miss that much of the job, she got angry and decided to go anyway, taking the twins along too, Kathleen didn't want to go and Maureen has college.

Olivia nodded her head,

"El, you have enough vacation days that are starting to collect dust—"

"No, I just….I just want to work." He stated with a sigh.

"So, it's me, Kathleen and Eli, it all works out, than Kathleen doesn't have to ruin the twins and Kathy's time complaining about being there in the first place, everybody wins."

"Well, I guess if that's what you want—"

"Stabler!"

Both Elliot and Olivia looked up to see Cragen walking out of his office.

"You just got a break in the Walker case; Fin is waiting of you in the parking garage."

Elliot looked up at him and than Olivia,

"But Capt. I gotta drop off Eli—"

"No, go ahead Elliot, Ill do it." Olivia said, jumping in.

"Are you sure?"

"Ya, I already typed up my D-D5 on the last case so I can go home."

Elliot nodded and threw her his keys,

"Take my car, it has his car seat." He informed her.

"Ok."

Elliot grabbed his jacket and jogged out, they had both been working on separate cases the past couple of days, so they really hadn't seen much of each other that much. Olivia organized her desk, taking glances at Eli every now and than; she smiled when he was still vast asleep.

When Olivia finished cleaning up, she shrugged on her, black coat and draped Elis carrier over her forearm as they both walked out of the squad room.

When Olivia reached Elliot's car it took her about 15 mins to figure out how to snap in Elis carrier and pull the seat belt across that. She was defiantly new when it came to things like that, she could figure out a serial rapist motive in a heart beat, but baby and child doo-dads, No idea.

_This should be interesting_ she thought

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**STOP AND REVIEW FOR A NEXT CHAPTER**

**je t'aime tous ! soyez de retour bientôt !**


	2. Chapter 2

**SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, IM MAINLY FOCUSING ON 'POST UNDERBELLY' AND 'SLEEP WITH ME' SINCE THOSE ARE THE ONES WRAKING IN THE REVIEWS AND THE ONES PPL SEEM TO LIKE MORE, SO HERES THE NEXT, I HOPE YOU GUYZ LIKE :)**

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They both arrived at the Stabler's house a while later, cross town traffic was a bitch, but of course, Olivia didn't tell the baby that. Olivia pulled into the driveway and got out to carefully extract Eli out of his car set wouldn't waking him, when she walked up the porch, she noticed Kathleen rushing down the hall.

"Hey dad! I heard you pull in, I'm going to go spend the night at a friends—oh."

Kathleen immediately stopped and frowned, letting in Olivia. "Elliot had to stay and work and so I brought Eli home" she stated, motioning to the sleeping baby. Olivia noticed the duffel bag flung over the teens shoulder,

"Planning on going somewhere?" she asked in a hushed tone, careful not to wake Eli, who was starting to stir in her arms,

"Um, ya, I was going to spend the night a friends, but since Eli's here and dad isn't, I can't leave." She stated, disappointed, her night now ruined.

"Well, it shouldn't take him long to get back, how 'bout I wait her with Eli and you can go ahead and go" she suggested,

"Oh really? Thank god." She said in relief, rushing out the door,

"Ya, bottles are in the fridge and you should be good." She threw over her shoulder. Olivia sighed and looked around the now quiet and deserted house.

"Buh!" Olivia looked down to see Eli's bright, blue eyes staring up at her in wonder.

"Hey there baby." She cooed, fascinated by the intensity of his eyes, another trait he inherited from his father, it was almost a mini Elliot in her arms and she chuckled at the thought. The light blue one piece he was wearing brought his eyes out even more.

Olivia wandered down the hall and into the kitchen, Eli starting to jump about in her arms.

"Buh! Buh! Buh!" he repeated, excited, drool seeping out of his mouth,

"Baby you're messy," she stated, alternating to her baby voice with a laugh. He gave her a toothless grin in response and laughed,

"Buh!"

"You mean bottle." She instructed sweetly, reaching for the handle of the refrigerator, finding a bottle, Eli ran his tiny hand through the back of her hair in her neck as he strained to turn around and see the bottle in her hand. He squealed in delight and reached out to get it but his fingers were too small to wrap them around the bottle with just his one hand.

Olivia chuckled and lightly pressed the nipple of the bottle against his lips, and he took it in his mouth, sucking the formula out of it. She rested his shoulders in the gap of her elbow and rested her right forearm under him, so he was lying on his back, she watched in wonder at the little bundle in her arms, she wanted a baby, so bad, and she was hurt that the adoption agency told her that she was an unfit mother.

Eli's bright eyes wandered all over her face as he fed from the bottle. But she wanted to know what it was like to have your own flesh and blood growing inside you, what it was like to carry a baby inside, you, to give birth, to breast fee, to teach it the difference between right and wrong and hoping it would grow up to live a happy life.

She sighed smiled down at him, thinking that Elliot was so lucky to have 5 beautiful children just as caring as he was,

"I'm not really good with babies little man. "She soothed with a smile, and watched as his eyebrows rose; taking interest in what she had to say to him, to anything she had to say. "So you gotta tell me if I'm doing this right, is this the right end of the bottle? It must be since stuff's coming out of it, huh?" Olivia laughed when he nodded his head,

"Awww, you're such a smart baby," she said in a low voice, pouting her lips, causing the little baby to laugh,

"You can't be Elliot's son; you must've gotten the intelligence from Kathy." She joked with a laugh.

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Elliot pulled up in the driveway, Olivia had left her keys in his locker so he could take her car, but was confused when he saw his car still in the driveway, he killed the engine and jogged up to the porch, he opened the door and pulled off his jacket while toeing of his shoes.

Than he heard a light-hearted laugh come from the kitchen that made his heart flutter, he already knew who it was.

He walked down the hall and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall when he saw Olivia leaning against the kitchen counter, back facing him, with Eli in her arms, and by god, the amazing woman was feeding him, like she had been doing it for years.

"Awww, you're such a smart baby," Elliot couldn't help but chuckle when he heard the sound of her voice, causing Eli to squeal hysterically, flinging his legs in excitement,

"You can't be Elliot's son, you must've gotten the intelligence from Kathy." She laughed again, causing a wide smile to spread across Elliot's face.

Olivia sat the bottle down on the counter,

"Ok baby, why don't you give your dad's partner a good burp." She soothed, humoring the baby and draping his head over her shoulder so his chin rested on it. Olivia began to pat his back, Eli strained to move his heavy head to the side and squeal when he saw who was standing in the doorway,

"Ddwwww." He gurgled, drool coming out of his mouth in bubbles.

"Can you say dad?" she cooed, starting to rock him and pat his back in intervals, finding a rhythm.

Elliot's heart skipped a beat when he saw her nuzzle her cheek against his head lovingly, and they thought she wasn't prim parent material.

Than a huge burp erupted from the baby's mouth,

"Wow!" Olivia exclaimed, holding the baby in front of her,

"Now that's what I'm talking about" she said, both her and the baby laughed, they didn't hear it but Elliot chuckled, trying to not alert her of his presence, Eli already knew. Eli continued to fling his legs, his eyes returning to his dad, hysterical that he was home.

"What is it baby?" Eli flung his arm towards Elliot and gurgled again,

"Ddwwww."

Olivia turned around and her face automatically began to burn when she saw Elliot in the doorway,

"How long have you been standing there?" she questioned, a smile slowly spreading across her face,

"So you think I'm stupid, huh?" he stated with a smile,

"Oh, but you already knew that." She said back, grabbing a towel to wipe the saliva running down Eli's chin. He smile up at her after she was done, Elliot walked over to the refrigerator for something to drink.

"There's a bottle in there if you thirsty." She commented playfully, tending to Eli.

"Buh!" Eli yelled, Olivia gasped and tickled his tummy,

"That's right baby."

"Thanks that's what I've been craving all day." Elliot added, Olivia started to bop Eli around and he gurgled in excitement, flinging his arms about.

"He's so adorable Elliot." she stated, her eyes locked on the baby's ,

"Must run in the family," he joked, grabbing 2 sodas. "Want one?"

"What no beer?" Olivia joked; Elliot sat one can on the counter as he opened the other one, taking a sip,

"I don't want to drink alcohol in front of the baby," he stated seriously, lowering his voice. A smile tugged at her lips, sure Eli didn't know the difference between coke and beer, but it was touching that Elliot still wouldn't, and Olivia figured that maybe it was some unresolved, unspoken thing he had with his father, but she wouldn't push it, Elliot really was the father of the year.

Eli swung his hand up to Olivia's nose and laughed when she gave him a funny look; he smiled and breathed in happily resting his head under her chin, closing his eyes. Olivia smiled and looked over at Elliot to see he was smiling at her.

"I know Kathy said he probably wouldn't, but I really think he remembers you in some way." He said quietly, Elliot smoothed his hand over the small baby's head; he stepped closer to Olivia so he could smooth his index finger over his plump, fat cheek as well.

"He's such a beautiful baby, one who any parent would want and his smile is just-"

"Incredible." Olivia whispered her eyes still on Eli, who had fallen asleep. Elliot had rested his hand on the small of Olivia's back as he kept hi eyes on the baby.

"I know I said a few years ago I would shoot myself if I had another baby, but I can't imagine my life with out him." Elliot unconsciously started to run his finger tips in small circled around the small of her back, his mind drifted back to the day when Kathy had him, and seeing Olivia leaning against the wall, with his son's blood on her shirt, at first he thought it was hers,

"I never did say thank you." He said quietly, Olivia's eyes drifted closed at the feel of his fingers rubbing over her back, she knew it was bad but she didn't want him to stop,

"You don't need to, Eli was the one who fixed your marriage." She stated, Elliot's hand stopped immediately and looked over at her, his breath hitched when he realizing how close their faces were. He noticed her eyes were closed and he wanted her to look at him. Olivia opened her eyes when she felt Elliot's ministrations stop and she turned her head, she wondered if she said the wrong thing, but why would it be? Elliot was happily married, right?

"Elliot." She breathed, tears reaching her eyes at the close proximity. But she immediately turned her attention back to Eli when he yawned,

"I better go." Olivia quickly said,

"Liv, how long did it take you to drive here?" Elliot asked skeptically,

"2 hours." She sighed,

"Ya, and its 12:30 at night, you can stay here." He said "I need to tuck Eli in." reaching for the baby, Olivia carefully handed it to him.

"Elliot's its fine, I can-"

"Stay here." He stated already walking down the hall. Olivia sighed and leaned against the counter, looking around the kitchen. Her breathing hitched and she looked down the hall, her back still tingled from the pattern of circles his finger tips seemed to burn into her skin.

She knew one thing, and that was she had to get out of there.

**TBC**

**STOP AND REVIEW PLEASE :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**ok, since you guyz are enjoying this, i decided to update alot earlier than i did the last :) plz review!!**

**and i should have SLEEP WITH ME updated here in a little while.**

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Olivia hurried down the hall just like Kathleen had done earlier, but right when she reached the door; she heard Elliot walking down the stairs, that man was quick,

"Liv?" he called out in confusion, she closed her eyes, and slowly turned around to face him, she didn't want to face him now, and she just wanted to go home to the silence of her apartment.

"Look El, I'm really tired and I just want to go home." She stated.

"Than stay here and get a couple more hours of sleep that you would have been driving." He insisted, now at the bottom of the stairs. Olivia sighed and glanced up the stairs and back at him,

"Is Eli asleep?" she asked, her thoughts instantly going to him, Elliot chuckled and walked closer to her,

"The little guy was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow." Her smile became soft, warm as she pictured Elliot gently laying Eli in his crib, kissing him goodnight. An awkward silence soon fell over them after that, now it was Elliot's turn to sigh,

"Olivia, I…..the last couple weeks sure have been crazy, and….I was just wondering…" Elliot's mind drifted back to the last couple months, her attack, boyfriend, and than kidnap, it all seemed to take its toll on both of them. Olivia smiled, admiring his concern for her,

"Don't worry El, I'm fine." She insisted, running a hand across the side of her neck bringing Elliot's attention to her neck, and that's when he noticed the red irritated marks on her skin, his lips parted and his eyebrow wrinkled, remembering when he head to tear the paper off when she was held 'hostage'.

"Liv." He stated, walking closer to her, Olivia realized what he was looking at and backed up until she bumped into the wall next to the stair case, forgetting there was one.

"I didn't know I tore that hard, I'm sorry." He sighed and quickly looked down at the floor before his eyes returned to hers, "I never did ask you, did Merritt……"

"No, no, he didn't hurt me." She stated, looking over his shoulder, to avoid his piercing gaze. Elliot couldn't stop thinking about the way he felt when he believed Merritt really was shocking Olivia, so maybe things were going through his mind, but it didn't matter now, it wasn't real, that's all that matters, Olivia wasn't hurt, just red marks on her neck, but, that was it, something _he _caused.

"Another time I wasn't there for you." He breathed, Elliot's hand lifted up to rest on her neck, his thumb immediately going to the irritated skin, caressing, trying to do anything to soothe it. Olivia's eyes fluttered, trying to stay open and look at him,

"I just…..I always expect you to be by my side, when we split up, and I heard your voice on the walkie-talkie, and I look up your not there." He played back, quietly. Olivia rested her hand on his wrist to still his motions. They seemed to forget where they were, everything becoming a big haze.

"You've always been here." He whispered, stepping closer so their bodies were flush against each other. "I just never saw it." Olivia closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side as Elliot draped his head, and placed an open kiss over the red skin,

"Elliot" she sighed, "Liv" he hummed, resting his forehead on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist. Olivia smiled as she felt his voice vibrate through her body by their close proximity; she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him as tight to her as he could be.

Olivia could fall asleep right there, in his warm embrace, but than she let the gravity of the situation she was in her _married _partner's house, in the arms of her _married _partner.

She automatically stiffened and pulled away. Elliot lifted his head, realizing something was wrong.

"What is it?" he asked, that's when she snapped.

"Elliot what is wrong?! What do you think is wrong?! Your married for gods sake!" she tried to wiggle out of his hold but he kept his grasp tight.

"Let go of me." She choked, tears forming in her eyes. Elliot instantly let go when those words left her mouth, he knew this was wrong, but this was also Olivia, at any moment he could lose her, with out her knowing how he felt, he realized that their clock was running out and he wanted to be with her more than anything.

She wrapped her arms around herself as Elliot backed away; giving her the space she wanted,

"Liv, I….." he stepped a little closer and Olivia leaned against the wall,

"Elliot, we can't do this, I know you said I wasn't the reason why you divorced Kathy the 1st time, but I don't want to be the reason for the 2nd."

"Liv, the marriage has bee over for a long time, now I realize I can have my kids and spend time with them without being married, I don't think they're happy, because they know that I and Kathy lying to ourselves aren't going to make thing return to the way they were." He stated stepping closer, Olivia didn't object.

A tear rolled down her left cheek as she folded her lips together, she couldn't believe Eliot was telling her this _now._ He has the worse timing and he said it especially at the worst place, a sob escaped her mouth and she shook her head, she never planned on falling in love with a married man, it wasn't exactly on her list of achievements. But things never go as planned, and Olivia new that well enough by now. She wanted Elliot and she needed him, the first person she ever truly loved.

"El…." She trailed off, Elliot closed the unneeded space between them, holding Olivia tightly against him, never wanting her to walk away, to never leave his arms, and she buried her face in his neck as he formed a safe cocoon around her, for her to cry in, to shut them out from the rest of the world.

Elliot wrapped his right arm securely around her waist while his left hand came up to rest behind her head, he could feel her hot, silent tears fall down his neck and it automatically made his heart drop to his stomach.

"Liv, in the end, its going to be alright I promise." He whispered in her ear before placing a kiss on her temple, and than another, he paused for a second but than slowly put another, she didn't want him to stop, she stepped back until her back bumped into the wall once more and Elliot bent his leg so it was resting between her legs.

He finally met her eyes and wiped the trail of tears still left on her cheeks, than he started to trace every part of her face, to the tip of her nose, tracing her eyebrows, lingering over the scar that laid under right eye brow, than slowly placing an open kiss on that.

Elliot had never been this close to Olivia before, but now he could make out the faint sigh of freckles under her foundation and make-up, splayed across her nose.

"You are so beautiful Liv, why do you wear make-up?" he asked in wonder, studying every aspect of her face. Olivia didn't hear the question, her eyes were closed and she was concentration solely on his touch, and all the sensations it created in her body, heat present in the junction of her legs,

"Olivia I want to see your eyes" he stated softly, resting his hand lightly on her cheek, she slowly opened her eyes, doing as he instructed. Elliot watched as she slowly opened them, he parted his lips, her eyes were dilated, making them look completely black, and a pink flush had filled her face, something he had never seen happen to her before. It was the most beautiful thing he _had _ever seen.

"Elliot I….." she whispered, she sniffled and pulled him to her, resting her chin on his left shoulder as she gripped the back of his shirt with her hands, causing wrinkles, but neither one of them cared, she gripped tighter, Eliot held her close, knowing she need someone, someone to giver her comfort, love assurance, stability, and it _was _going to be him, with out a doubt.

Tears started to roll down her cheeks again, she didn't want him to leave her, she had left so many men and she was sick of it, Olivia wanted Eliot to _always_ be there, she wrapped her left leg around his waist, pulling him closer.

Elliot realized what she was afraid of, and he had to tell her that's not what he was about to do, he brought his lips to her ear,

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere, Liv, do you hear me?" he cooed, lightly taking her earlobe in his mouth, sending a shiver through her body, after a few hiccups from the crying she pulled away. Olivia suddenly felt embarrassed and started to pull her leg away but Elliot stopped her by placing his hand there, supporting it against his body.

"Eli's a pretty heavy sleeper." He commented with a laugh, trying to make Olivia feel better, she faintly smiled and looked up at him, before sniffling, he sighed and rested his forehead against hers.

"Tired? I better get you some blankets" he whispered, she nodded, rubbing her forehead against his. He placed an open kiss on her forehead before going upstairs.

Once he got to the second floor, he turned to his left and walked down that hallway, taking a quickly peak in Eli's room, making sure he was still asleep. Than he turned around and opened the hall closet, his mind drifted back to when he did the same thing with Olivia's sheets he sighed, he had made the next step that night, so now he was going to wait until Olivia made the next move. He grabbed a heavy blanket, noticing it was pretty chilly that night and than he hurried into his bedroom, and grabbed a pair of his old shorts that were sure to fit Olivia, but where maybe a little big. Elliot headed down the stairs, but realized he had forgotten a pillow, he ran back up to grab one from the same closet he got the blanket and went back down stairs.

Olivia wasn't where he left her,

"Liv?" he called, walking down the hall, as he passed the living room that's when his eyes caught her standing by the couch. "Liv" he called again, she had her arms crossed and was staring blankly at nothing, she turned around "Hey, I got a blanket, pillow and a pair of my old shorts that should fit you if you want to wear them." He stated.

Olivia just nodded, watching his eyes sparkle in the dim light, she only had one lamp on, "Ok," she said quietly,

Elliot walked around the couch and spread out the blanket in mid-air and laid it gently over the couch, than he took the pillow and rested it on the arm rest, he turned back around to see Olivia quietly staring at him. Her eyes met his and he stepped closer to her, their bodies inches apart,

"So, I guess, I'll see you in the morning." He stated quietly, his eyes wandering all over her face.

After standing there for a couple of minutes, Elliot finally started to walk out of the living room, but Olivia grabbed his hand,

"No, Elliot, wait," she said quickly.

**TBC**

**STOP AND REVIEW PLZ!! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**OK, SINCE I HAD A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS, I DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND UPDATE WHILE IM PONDERING OVER 'POST UNDERBELLY' ENJOY!! MY LOVELY READERS!! :)**

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He turned around to see her eyes glassy with fresh tears, "Stay, don't go please, stay with me." She whispered taking his hand in both of hers. Olivia hadn't talked about what happened since that night months ago. _He_ still haunted her dreams and she was afraid he'd never go away, sure the dreams had died down a bit, they weren't as bad, but they were still _there_, it made her frustrated that it still bugged her and she couldn't get over it.

"I don't want to be alone." She choked.

"No, no you don't have to be." Elliot said quickly, pulling her face into his neck, placing a kiss on her temple, Olivia tilted her head up, so she could smell Elliot's cologne.

"Don't leave." She whispered again, placing a kiss on his neck, automatically sending a shiver down Elliot's back, her left hand trailed up to rest on his neck as she continued to place kisses on it, he had already left on and she didn't want that to happen again.

Her other hand trailed up to his tie, she stepped back to look into his steel blue eyes, Olivia dropped her arms so her black jacket slid to the floor, Elliot hooked his hands in the brown sweater she was wearing and pulled it over her head, so she just had a white tank on. Elliot leaned down and pressed his lips where her neck met her shoulder and pulled away, allowing Olivia to unbutton his shirt, their eyes never left each others as Olivia slid off his shirt, Elliot was wear a light, cotton shirt under it.

Next Elliot's breath hitched as he undid Olivia's black jeans, so she could pull them down, than he took his shorts and opened them so Olivia could step into them, than he pulled it up, his fingers purposely smoothing over the back of her thighs, creating goose bumps as he pulled it up to her waist.

Olivia placed a wet, hot open mouthed kiss at the base of his neck while she unbuttoned his slacks and pulled them off, leaving him in a white shirt and checkered boxers.

Olivia silently walked over to the couch and pulled back the blanket so she could climb in, Eliot followed her, laying down so she was between Eliot and the back of the couch, he pulled the blanket over them both and he pulled Olivia flush against his chest, after a while Elliot sighed in frustration and pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the ground, causing Olivia's mouth to run dry.

"I get too hot during the night." He commented, looking down at her, she stared at his chest in awe and nodded, it wasn't the first time she had ever seen it, but she hand never been so close, and she never had the opportunity to touch it, her hand reached out and she smoothed it over one of his pecs glancing up at him, his eyes stayed on her contently as she explored new territory.

Olivia closed her eyes and placed a kiss on his chest, her right hand smoothed over his side as she lifted her head up to see he was smiling at her; she smiled back and snuggled against him, wanting to get lost in his warmth.

They both sighed and Elliot snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her closer, He pressed his lips to her hair and whispered,

"Night Liv."

When she answer Elliot was surprised to find out she was already asleep.

* * *

Olivia woke up the next morning, forgetting where she was, she opened her eyes and saw a broad chest, when she looked up, and she saw Elliot, sound asleep.

Everything came flooding back to her; she was in Elliot's house, sleeping with her married partner. But she quickly shoved it away, she wanted to enjoy this until she walked out that door and it would never happen again.

Olivia rested her head on the pillow and watched Elliot sleep, his face was completely calm and content, he usually looked angry while he worked, but this Elliot, this Elliot was different, Olivia always did wonder how he would be f he had done a different job, one where he could just joke around at board meetings and leave when ever he wanted to come home to his family, a normal job, a normal life, Olivia liked to believe that he _did_ have a normal life outside of work, but when you're a cop, you don't, you cant even escape work when your at home, it follows you everywhere, its in your blood, just like partners.

Her eyes wandered all over his face, he really was a beautiful man, that's something work also did, and she wondered if he would have aged differently with a different job too. Her eyes trailed along his sharp jaw line to his nose, and his thick eyebrows that hovered over his eyes, to his thick, smooth dark hair.

Olivia's eyes than trailed down to his thin, red lips, her breath hitched, wanting to kiss him more than anything. Than she heard a squeal from upstairs, a wide smile spread across Olivia's face, she glanced upstairs through the door way and than back at Elliot.

Her face softened as she smoothed her hand on his cheek and placed a kiss on his forehead before quietly lifting his arm from her waist and squeezing from his hold. Than she climbed over the back of the couch and landed on her feet.

Olivia made her way upstairs, she didn't want to look at the spare bedrooms, that were sure to be his kids, and she defiantly didn't want to look at Elliot's bedroom. She shoved all of that out of her mind and continued on to where Eli's 'talking' came from.

Olivia peaked into one bedroom, she thought to be Eli's and she saw him wiggling around in his crib, trying to reach up to at a toy that was dangling from the ceiling, he kicked, trying to grab it. Olivia smiled and walked and in the room, Eli looked over and squealed especially because she was there.

"Hey there little guy." She whispered, walking over to smooth her hand through his short, fuzzy hair. Eli clapped his hands together once and gave her a toothless grin. Olivia chuckled,

"Ya, your probably wondering what I'm doing here, huh?"

But she immediately caught herself, she winced,

_I'm having an affair with your dad, that's what I'm doing. _

Eli grabbed her hand when she wasn't looking at him, he gurgled, trying to get Olivia's attention, Olivia snapped out of it when Eli started to suck on her finger, so she shoved it out of her mind.

"Oh, don't do that baby." She said that in a low voice, causing Eli to laugh, than Olivia started to smell why he must've gotten up, "Oh, stinky baby." She commented, plugging her nose, Eli reached up with arms, apparently wanting to be picked up.

Olivia placed her hands in his arm pits and lifted him up, his head instantly resting on her shoulder. "Aaaww, even when you smell bad, you're the cutest baby in the world." She commented, rubbing his back,

"Ok, now where does daddy keep the diapers?" Olivia spun around the room and final found them resting on a changing table, she laid Eli on it and undid his one piece to get to work. Good thing one of her friends in high school forced her to help baby sit.

After she changed his diaper, she had to quietly walk downstairs, with Eli in her arms, telling him to be quiet so daddy could sleep. And than they both hurried back upstairs.

When they both got back to his room Olivia gently placed him on the floor so he could crawl around while she found him clothes. She opened a draw and found what she was looking for,

"Ok, so do you want something nice, or comfortable?" she asked playfully,

"Ddwww." He gurgled behind her.

"I don't think I can find that." She said with a laugh. Olivia stood up and turned around with something in had, she looked down at Eli and found he was sitting by a hairy leg, Elliot bent down and picked up Eli, Eli rested his head on his dad's shoulder affectionately. Elliot kissed the side of his head and looked back at Olivia.

"Do you just like spying on people?" she asked with a smile,

"No, I just like to sneak up on them." He said innocently, "And Eli always manages to spot me first." He added. Olivia walked over to Elliot and lifted Eli out of his arms,

"Well, daddy, someone needs to get dressed, and I'm not talking about the baby. "she commented, her face began to burn as her eyes raked over his body, he just had his boxers on.

"Gaaa!" Eli yelled, draping his head on Olivia's shoulder, Olivia jumped when the little babies mouth latched on to her slim shoulder and started to suck on the skin. Elliot laughed and she glared at him,

"Oh, you find that thrilling do you?" she joked, Olivia pulled Eli away and he squealed in delight, Sorry, I'm not food."

"That just means he wants a bottle, strange, I know." Elliot said with a laugh.

"Than he must've gotten it from his father." She commented.

Elliot laughed and Olivia went over and sat on the floor with Eli as she gently laid him down, Elliot's smile stayed on is face as he watched Olivia dress his child with care. His eyes stayed on the back of her head as she gingerly cooed at the baby, keeping his attention, he wanted _her_ to be Eli's mom and he hand no regret thinking that, which scared him most,

"There we go baby, all done." Olivia scooted over on the carpet, watching Eli as he crawled over to Elliot.

Elliot gasped and said," Hey there big guy!" and he picked him up with a swing in the air, causing Eli to squeal in excitement.

"So who's up for breakfast?" Olivia stood up and shrugged Elliot walking out of the room. After a quick stop at the bathroom, Olivia went in to the kitchen to see Eli in his highchair with a bowl of oatmeal, waving his spoon around as Elliot busied himself over at the stove, now he had thrown on the same shirt he wore the night before.

Olivia sighed and walked over to him.

**TBC**

**DONT FORGET!! STOP AND REVIEW!! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**HERES THE NEXT, I HOPE YALL ENJOY! :) REVIEWS, MOST APPRECIATED, **

"Hey there" he said as he saw her out of the corner of his eyes, "My signature dish, pancakes."

"I had no idea you cooked." She stated with a laugh,

"Oh you better believe it." Elliot flicked his wrist, causing the pancake to flip it on the other side, Olivia stepped back,

"Now, you don't need to do that just because you're trying to impress someone."

"Is it working?" he whispered smugly, grinning at her, Elliot turned off the burner and placed the one pancake on the already stack,

"You don't need to impress me Elliot." She whispered back, turning serous, he turned around to face her and she backed up until her ass hit the counter.

"Yes, I do." He stated quietly, his hand reaching to rub his thumb over her pulse. Her breathing became heavy at his touch, their eyes never left each other as his hands slid over her ass to rest on her hips, and than he gently lifted her up to sit on the counter, Eli gurgled in amazement as he watched the exchange.

Olivia silently watched his actions, his eyes staring at her as his hands came to rest on her thigh, and his nostrils flared as he began to knead them, making the heat in between her thighs come alive. Elliot slowly spread her legs apart so he was standing in between them.

Her hands quickly rested on his shoulders, waning to kiss him so bad, she closed her eyes and leaned forward to place an open kiss on his forehead, Elliot wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her off the counter, her legs instantly wrapped around his waist, he than perched her against the nearest wall, Elliot's lips went straight to her neck placing kiss every surface there was to it.

Olivia could feel his hard erection press against her heat, and she hand never felt something so erotic, she gasped as he nicked a sensitive spot of her neck,

"Eli had the right idea." Elliot whispered, beginning to suck on the skin around her shoulder.

But than a squeal brought them out of the moment thy both looked over at Eli forgetting he was there, now bouncing around in his chair, Elliot let go of her and kissed her nose before letting Eli out of his chair. Tears stated to fill Olivia eyes as she watched Elliot pick Eli up, reality crashing down again, it was a new day and she couldn't stay there forever, a silent tear ran down her cheek as she thought over everything she had done, and quickly left the room.

Elliot picked up the little bowl that used to be full of oat meat and turned around, noticing Olivia wasn't in there, he sat the bowl on the counter and wandered down the hall, Eli still in his arms,

"Liv?" he called, he turned the corner to the living room and saw she had already put her clothes on and was now shrugging on her coat.

"Olivia?" he called again, she turned around to face him and tats when he saw the stream of tears running down her cheeks, she quickly turned her head so he couldn't see her.

"Olivia, what's wrong?"

"You know damn well what's wrong." She stated harshly,

"Liv." He stated, she shook he head while another tear ran down her cheek,

"This is wrong and you know it!" she was mad at herself and at Elliot, they had both completely lost their self-control and now everyone else had to suffer for their selfishness, but she knew she would probably suffer the most, Elliot had so willingly taker her hear and now he was unconsciously tearing it apart.

Elliot stepped closer and she stepped back, "I can't do this with you." Another tear ran down her cheek,

"Liv, don't--I'm sorry; I just I cant stand by you any longer without you knowing." His own eyes becoming watery, Eli looked up to see a stray tear run down his dad's cheek and his face scrunched up, confused and hurt that his dad wasn't happy, after that Eli started to cry. Olivia looked over at Eli and than back at Elliot, knowing she had already caused too much trouble and pain so she started to leave.

Elliot shook his head and quickly smiled at Eli, to assure him he was ok, he kissed his head, and sat Eli on the carpet of the living room, in 4 long strides he caught op to Olivia and grabbed her hand, than twirled her around to face him.

"Elliot stop it." She said firmly taking her hand back,

"Liv than why did you stay? You could have gone at anytime, but you stayed and you let me hold you, if there's nothing between us……" he trailed off. She sighed and flung her arms in the air,

"I don't know Elliot, I was lonely,"

"Than you would have slept in anyone's arms?" he asked skeptically, with a hint of disappointment in his eyes. Her eyes darted between his, she didn't know what to say, tears started to form in her eyes, he was right, of course he always was when it had to do with her.

"Elliot, I can't do this with you, and you know why" Elliot shook his head and stepped closer to her,

"You cant but that doesn't mean you don't want to." He stated, tears forming in his won eyes, Olivia shook her head and stepped back more, but he stopped her by wrapping his fingers gently, but firmly around her right arm.

"Don't walk away, now, tell me you don't want me and I'll walk away and we can pretend this never happened." He faltered.

Her heart slammed against her chest, than her eyes drifted to his lips on their own accord,

"I could never say that" she whispered, the second those words left her mouth, Elliot's lips covered hers, it was their first kiss and it stole all the air from her lungs, when she regained her composure she only lost it again when his tongued slipped over her bottom lips, they backed up until the nearest wall and Olivia wrapped her arms tight around his neck, giving him access to her mouth.

He explored it curiously, wanting to memorize every little detail, the way she tasted, felt, moved. After a while his tongue retreated, only to coax hers to his mouth, she obliged, moaning as she smoothed her tongue on the roof of his mouth.

Elliot threw off her coat and sweater, just leaving her in a tank top, and her black slacks,

"Toe off our shoes." He instructed between kisses, Olivia did what she was told but moved away when she had noticed that little Eli had finally crawled his way down the hall towards them.

Elliot followed her line of sight and spotted him, gurgling as he flung his hands down on the floor to maintain his balance as he crawled. He sighed and walked over to pick him up; Elliot looked up only to see Olivia still in a daze and out of breath from their frenzied kisses. When Eli noticed Olivia too he flung his arms out and Elliot smiled, and walked over to her.

She sadly looked up at Elliot and smiled down at Eli,

"Ok"

Than Olivia took him in his arms and he clapped, once he was settled in her hold, he rested his head under her chin affectionately and closed his eyes,

"I'm going to put those pancakes in the fridge." He stated quietly against her forehead, placing a kiss on it afterwards. Olivia sighed and smiled back up at him, he placed one last kiss on her nose and combed his hand through her hair before disappearing down the hall, and Olivia walked not the living room and sat down on the couch so she could rest Elli on her lap.

"Hey there baby." She cooed. "You'd probably hate me if you were older and realized what we were doing." She choked,

Eli looked up and rested his small hand on her chin Olivia felt awful when his bottom lip trembled at the amount of sadness he saw in her eyes.

"No Eli, no I'm sorry don't cry, don't cry sweetheart." she soothed holding him against her chest and she started to slowly rock him.

Who else was she going to make feel bad?

**10 MINS LATER……**

Elliot came back a while later to find Olivia sitting the couch in his living room, with Eli sleeping in his arms,

"He's one tired guy." He commented walking towards the couch, Olivia looked up and faintly smiled, returning her gaze back to Eli,

"Do you ever regret having him?" she blurted out.

"What do you mean? That he wasn't planned? Well he's not the first." He said with a smile.

History does have a way of repeating itself, Maureen had caused them to get married and now Eli was the reason they got back together.

Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, and it never would be.

"I don't regret any of my kids."

"I want a child so bad, and you keep getting them." But she immediately caught herself. Olivia turned her head towards him, "Oh, no, El, I didn't mean it like that I just--"

"Its ok." He stated softly, his eyes never leaving hers, Without even thinking Elliot fused his lips with Olivia's with little Eli between them.

**TBC**

**IM NOT BULLSHITTING YOU GUYZ, BABIES REALLY DO ACT ON THE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS, VOICE OF EXPERIENCE :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry i havent updated in a while, i cant get on the comp i once did to type these up, so i have to type it on a computer that doesnt get internet, than i have to get on here, with a flash drive, and transfer it on, so i can, but ill do anything so you guyz read these, im so glad yall like it so far :D **

* * *

Olivia wanted to stay there, she really did, to pretend that it was just her and Elliot, it was the most selfish thing she ever hoped for, and she hated herself for it. They both quickly broke apart when Eli started to stir in Olivia's arms. Olivia's eyes were wide when Elliot looked at her and she looked down at Eli, forgetting he was even there. Elliot sighed, regret and guilt clear in his eyes, but he didn't want to stop, he was sick and tired of everything holding him back. He wanted to do what felt right, and that was Olivia.

"I should go and take him up for a nap." Elliot stated quietly.

Olivia just nodded sadly and watched as Elliot took the sleeping baby out of her arms and upstairs. Than she looked down at herself, she felt so pathetic, in her tank top and pants, she never meant to become a home wrecker and she did just that, she vowed to never stoop that low, but everything felt different when she was around Elliot.

Olivia once said that an affair wasn't love between 2 people, but betrayal towards another person. All those times when murders would happen just around adultery, she just couldn't understand how 2 people would do that when they could ruin each others lives, to have an affair. Well, now she did, first hand. Now she could never think of it as betrayal, she truly loved Elliot, with everything in her, how could something as wrong as this, feel, so right?

"Liv.." she snapped out of it when she heard his soft voice flow her way. Olivia looked back to see Elliot standing in the hallway, next to the entryway of the living room where she was sitting.

"I should go." she stated. Elliot wanted to tell her to stay, he really did, but they both knew it was wrong, especially in his won families house, this was wrong, so wrong. Elliot nodded and looked down the hall towards the kitchen, he should probably clean up, and Kathleen...he whipped his head around to face Olivia again as she started to get up.

"Did, she say how long she was staying at her friends?? Kathleen??" he asked, Olivia glanced at the clock, 9:45.

"No, she just said the night, so I guess..." she trailed off.

"I should go." Olivia repeated, now thinking somewhat straight, Elliot glanced at the floor and picked up her clothes so she could slip them back on, along with her shoes. Olivia walked over to him and took them, ducking her head so Elliot wouldn't notice the blush that had presented itself on her cheeks, she felt low, degraded, how could she have done this? Now she's leaving before anyone comes bursting into the house, a place where she certainly should not be welcome, tears formed in her eyes as she quickly pulled her sweater on.

A mistress, that's what she had become, at least they didn't go any further but, if anyone found out, its like she would have no identity, Elliot Stabler's mistress, that's all she would be, known as, nothing more. Elliot noticed she wouldn't look at him, and he needed to say something, anything. He tugged on her elbow, so her body was now facing his.

"Liv before you go, you have to understand."

"What? That we've both completely screwed each other over? That nothing can go back to the way it was?" she exclaimed, tears falling, she didn't care, she just didn't care what he saw of her anymore, now, he probably just saw her as a home wrecker, willing to jump anyone's bones. All respect he had for the person she once was, now gone, out the window.

"What!?" she asked again.

"That I didn't mean for any of this to happen, it just did, and I'm sorry for hurting you." he sighed, pulling her closer, but she refused to meet his gaze.

"You didn't hurt me, not when you said you wanted something more, and not when you kissed me, your now making me realize this could never work between us, and that I finally know that now." She explained, finding enough strength to look him in the eyes as she spoke this time.

"How long?" he asked, wrapping his fingers more around her arm, Olivia blinked a couple of times, she knew what he was asking, but she couldn't answer, it would only make things harder. Olivia shook her head slowly as her chin trembled.

"I can't tell you." She stated wetly, the lump from crying still lodged in her throat.

"And why not? Why not Olivia?" he urged sadly.

"Because—" she trailed off, more tears falling, she wanted to leave; it hurt too much to be around him like this, she couldn't take it any longer. Olivia closed her eyes as he cupped her head in his hands.

"Just please tell me." Elliot pleaded, his own tears forming, they didn't have much time alone, not until _someone_ showed up.

"I Cant." She whispered, lowering her head.

"4 years." Olivia's head snapped up to see his foggy blue eyes looking at hers.

"I know it was wrong and this is, but Olivia, I can't stop loving you, its not that simple." He explained, tilting his head to the side, Elliot's heart sped dup when he said that, but it didn't matter, the only ting that mattered was that now she knew, and that he finally told her, Olivia froze, she didn't expect him to say it in the middle of his hallway, in the house of his family, who, she just ripped to pieces with her won bare hands, and now this, she was shocked that he said it at all.

What a mess.

When Olivia didn't say anything, Elliot started to feel nervous,

"Liv? Liv, did you hear what I just said? I love you." He stated again, a little bit of with sort of lifted itself from his shoulders, and he felt better, but only for a moment, guile started to set in, taking its place, but I needed to be done, it needed to be said, in the past few years, his chest seemed to constrict at the thought of her not knowing, not being able to find out her feelings, or the feeling of her love, her small soft hands roaming his body, raking over his back as he…….

His chest only grew tighter as he decided to carry the marriage on again, but he couldn't call it a marriage more like, a connivance, Kathy need him for some sort of support for the baby and he need to his kids safe, under his protection. But he would be willing to give that up for her, he knew that now, he would give it all up for Olivia in a heart beat, as she was standing right there in front of him. But her silence, made him feel uneasy.

Olivia wrapped her fingers around both of his wrists, his hands still cupping her head. When her eyes met his, he could tell she was exhausted, they were on call after him and fin were able to close the case they've been working on. He wanted to give her something. So why not a ride, at least to still show her that he hadn't giver up their friendship, but hat was just it, he didn't want to love her just a s a friend, but he wanted to love her as the beautiful, smart, courageous woman that he knew, to give her love that she deserved and the passion that she had never received, Elliot sighed, and she didn't object when he rested his forehead against hers. But he hated the fact that her muscles had completely stiffened since those words passed his lips.

"At least let me take you home." He insisted, pulling away. Elliot was thankful when she ended up nodding her head, and slipping on her black over coat, along with her loafers. Elliot quickly jogged upstairs and threw on some jeans, a shirt and a sweatshirt to put over that, than he wandered down the hall to Eli's room, he cautiously lifted him up out of the crib, careful not to wake him. When he turned around, Olivia was standing in the doorway.

"No Elliot, I forgot I had my car, and you need to watch Eli, you don't need to drag his car seat into mine just so you can take me home when I'm quite capable of doing it myself." Olivia was able to pull herself together when Elliot left, and now it was time to fall back into place, right where she belonged. Only Elliot's work partner, nothing more, nothing to do with his personal life, that was his business, she should have kept it that way, and none of this would have ever happened.

But she faltered when she saw disappointment flash through is eyes, Elliot was actually showing every emotion flash across his face, something he hardly ever did and she felt that he knew what she was thinking, Olivia felt like an open book, like he could read everything, and now, she felt exposed a weakness she didn't need right at this pint, didn't want.

"I'm driving you." He stated, turning around, but he knew he made a mistake by talking too loud, Eli starting to stir in his arms.

"I have to go, its getting late." She ignored him, walking back downstairs, getting away from him.

Elliot silently stood in the middle of the room, listening to Olivia close the front door and starting the ignition to leave. He sighed and looked down at Elliot, placing him back in his crib, shutting the door behind him as he left. Elliot walked slowly back downstairs and stared into the living room, she had just been there, not long ago, as she rocked his youngest asleep, her soft lips pressing against his, moving against his tongue. He plopped on it and buried his face in the pillow, taking in her scent, she smelled so sweet, so beautiful, what they had down was locked away in this house, never to be spoken of again, and he dreaded that.

He inhaled deeply, it was like she was in there with him, but his eyes shot wide open, her scent, her smell, he could easily say it was because of bringing Eli, but it was on the pillow, couch, blanket, him.

Elliot stood up and took the blanket and pillow case and walked past the kitchen and to the laundry room to throw them in the washer. After 10 minutes of rummaging, he finally, found one of those scented candle and lit it, placing it on the end table by the couch.

That's when he heard a car pull into the driveway. He froze, watching Kathleen jog up on the porch through the window.

"Hey Dad….." she trailed off, seeing the way her father was just standing still, in the middle of the living room, but instead of pressing further she just ran upstairs, wanting to catch more sleep, leaving Elliot to sigh in relief, that she didn't question anything, he needed to stop acting like everyone knew, now, he needed to take a shower, just to make sure that no one could notice.

But Kathy did recognize the different smell of perfume on him whenever he came back from a stakeout; it seemed like the car always smelled like Olivia afterwards.

But only than, they weren't doing anything, it was much different this time.

**TBC **

**REVIEW :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**ok, heres the next chap, i hope you all enjoy, and leave me feedback plz! im so happy to back writing stories, thats one of my most fav things :P ^_^**

Olivia stumbled into her apartment as she finally allowed the tears to fall, she did it, she left, and now they would never speak of it again. How would she even work with him? Or even bear to see him? And she does have to work tomorrow, same as him. Olivia wandered into her bedroom, stripping herself of all her clothes, she wanted to forget, she wanted to erase the memory of ever being with him, so she wouldn't have to think about it, that through all those years she always doubted, through the years he was free, where she left, there was always a chance, and neither of them knew it, or even took an effort to find out, to take that step.

She knew it was a mistake, she always did, she knew she had to forget him to move on, especially when he moved in the 2nd time. Olivia didn't want to fall in love, she didn't want anyone to have to bare her, she didn't deserve the devout Catholic with a family and 5 children, the things he had, now she ruined, all that, she didn't deserve anything. Olivia let out alone sob, before stepping into the shower, letting everything disappear and fall into the drain, and the water cascading down her body, erasing everything.

Ya, she wishes it were that easy.

The day goes by, slowly, painfully, leaving Olivia nothing to do but lope around in her sorrow, alone. She sighed heavily and plopped on her bed, completely bored out of her mind, and she couldn't get Elliot out of her mind.

Her whole body jumped when the phone in her bedroom went off, she placed a hand on her hear as it continued to beat rapidly from the sudden noise flooding the silent room so unexpectedly. Tears welled her eyes, she knew it was he, she just knew it, after all, who else would be calling her? How could he even dare to call this early? Or even at all?

After a few more rings, it went to voice mail,

"Liv, its me, I'm sorry but we've got a case."

That's all Elliot said before he hung up, the way he said it, he just knew she was there, and that's what she hated the most. He knew she was trying to avoid him. Olivia sighed and hurried to get dressed when the phone rang again, this time she picked it up,

"Ya?" she questioned softly.

"I'm outside your apartment, come down when your ready."

Olivia squeezed her eyes closed tight as she hung up the phone, it had only been 12 hours and now she was being forced to face him again. She glance at the clock, 10:11, well, it looks like she won't be getting any sleep that night, its not like she would anyway, there was just too much on her mind.

The ride to the crime scene was complete silence, they hadn't even so much as looked at each other, or even talked, Elliot knew he head to say something, but he just didn't know what. He risked a glance towards her to see if she was staring out the window, at nothing in particular. He opened his mouth but only closed it; he just didn't know what to say, or what to do to fix this.

They both groaned inwardly when they hit a red light, now was his chance, or at least he knew he needed to say something now. He turned his torso to face her and Olivia noticed the movement out of the corner of her eye, expecting the worst.

"Liv…." He started quietly, stalling so he could come up with something, he swallowed, the lump of nerves that had built up since she stepped out for her apartment building and said,

"I—"

"Its fine El, I just—lets just work this case..alright?" she cut in, in a half pleading voice, she just wanted him to drop it and never bring it up again? How could she expect that of him?

"I wont be able to concentrate on this case if we don't talk about this." He admitted,

"There's nothing to talk about, now go." She motioned towards the light, showing that it had turned green.

"What do you plan to do than? Pretend like nothing happened" he questioned, starting to get agitated. That's exactly what she planned on doing, but so far, it wasn't working.

"Yes." She admitted so softly, neither of them were even sure she said it.

"Olivia" he stated, shaking his head slowly. But before they could say anything else, they had already arrived at the crime scene. Olivia sighed and they both got out of the car, dreading the next murder or rape they had to deal with.

Olivia downed the 3rd cup of coffee she had that night, or you could say early morning, it was 2am and still no sleep, Olivia was now sitting at her desk filling out the DD-5 for the rap homicide Elliot and her had taken care of. The idiot forgot to wear a condom, with the beating he gave her, his DNA would most likely be in the system, and all they had to do now was wait for the result. Thank god Elliot just decided to catch a few minutes in the cribs, it saved her the trouble of having to face him, so it was just her, and Cragen in his office, and maybe a few unis downstairs, but no one else in the squad room.

Olivia finished up and hit the print button, while the printer across the room started to come to life and print the page she needed, she stood up and stretched before walking over to the machine, to retrieve the necessary papers. She almost jumped out of her skin when Cragen called from his office, it startled her so much.

"Olivia, go wake Elliot, the Vic had 2 parents in Harlem, can you notify them?" it was more of an order than a question, so either if she did or she didn't it didn't matter much.

"Better sooner than later." She sighed, walking back to her desk to slip the document in a manila colored folder before reluctantly heading upstairs towards the cribs.

Moonlight was the only thing lighting the room when she entered the doorway, she didn't want to turn the light on, she didn't want to disturb him, she just didn't want to be forced to have to face all this mess, the mess they got themselves into single handedly. He was laying in one of cribs in the far wall. She jumped when his voice filled the space in between them.

"I heard Cragen, worst part of the job, right?" he stated indifferently, his gaze focused on the top bunk; at least he was staring at her. She stood there, unconsciously watching his stomach rising and falling with each breath he took, she wanted to go to him, the force she felt to carry herself to him was so strong, it was nauseating.

Olivia took one step forward,

"The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back." She said softly, wanting him to get up so she can go home and rest with her own jumbled up thoughts, alone. Maybe she could think straighter and more logical without him with her.

She was surprised by how terrified she felt when he stood up and approached her, the way he walked, she was terrified to be alone with him, she didn't trust herself anymore, than who was there to trust if that was the case?

He yearned to touch her, that, she could gouge from the look in his eyes, moisture formed in her eyes, she didn't have the strength to deny him, she hated her own weakness.

"Olivia—we do need to talk." He whispered, she shook her head frantically,

"I'm sorry about what I said in the car, I just…." She shook her head again, willing all her bodies strength to stop the sob that was building in her chest; she's ruined both their lives.

Olivia didn't want to stay there, not a moment longer, she had messed everything up, because she was too selfish to think of anyone else.

"I'm sorry, I---" she turned to leave but before she could bolt, Elliot already had his arms around her, his breath hot by her ear as he spoke.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, but it has, I cant stop it, no matter how hard I try." He whispered, sounding almost as broken as she felt, Olivia wanted to leave, but her body just wouldn't comply, instead, it molded around his touch, her head feeling too heavy to keep itself up any longer. Olivia let her forehead drop on his shoulder, while her arms squeezed him tighter to her. Feeling safe in his arms, she finally let the ragged sob burst forth into the material of his jacket.

"It nearly killed me when I was trying to ignore you at the crime scene, I stood and watched a sorrow filled your face for the victim, and than anger for the bastard who did that to her." His words were low and warm, she just wanted to get wrapped up in his voice, he pulled her tighter, running his hand through her hair.

"And that's when I realized I wouldn't stay away from you any longer, I don't care Liv, you can call me a selfish bastard, maybe I am, but I love you,"

"El…" she pleaded, gripping his shirt in her hands, she wasn't even sure if she said that for him to stop, or to continue, she was terrified he'd pull away and kiss her, but she was also yearning for it.

"What? Please say something, anything…" Elliot pulled away, but for the first time, her lips met his. They both sighed and Elliot cupped her jaw with his left hand, smoothing his thumb up and down it, as it moved, she probed his mouth with her tongue, Elliot accepting it greedily. It was just as fierce and passionate as the last 2 and Elliot pulled her body flush against his, he bit and nibbled at her deliciously full, pouty lips, wanting to taste more of her. Elliot smoothed his left hand down to her right butte cheek, and cupped it, squeezing it possessively.

He so desperately wanted to make love to her, she deserved to be loved by someone, and that someone _was_ going to be him.

"El--:" she gasped, "Elliot, we have to go." Olivia stated, pulling back, "We have to notify the parents"

Elliot groaned, placing kisses across her neck, Olivia's eyes slipped closed as he sucked pieces of her skin into his mouth.

"Aren't they just better off not knowing?" But Olivia's eyes opened automatically, her body stiffening, "Elliot" she stated firmly, pulling herself out of his arms. Elliot quickly caught what he had said,

"No, Liv, I didn't mean—" he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, she shook her head,

"At least let me do one thing right today." she asked sadly.

And just like that, she was gone, Elliot sighed, and followed, shoving everything in the back of his mind, so he wouldn't have to think about it, he just didn't want to think about anything. When Elliot reached his desk to grab his coat, Olivia tossed him the keys and they both headed out without saying a word to each other.

By the time they had finished telling the parents about their daughters death, they had gotten back to the car by 3:30 am.

Both Elliot and Olivia were exhausted.

"Here, let me drive you home." Elliot offered, Olivia knew it was a bad idea, but she was just too tired and wiped out to do anything about it. So she nodded, the ride there was quiet and Olivia even managed to doze off.

When Elliot pulled up at her building he gently shook her awake, she jumped when he said her name,

"Huh? Wha?" she started,

"We're here." He stated softly, hating the black circles under her eyes.

"Cragen said we don't have to be in today, since we were on call yesterday." He added quietly, knowing she was till a little drowsy from sleep. Olivia nodded, looking up at her building,

"Ok, um, El?"

"Ya?" he unconsciously started to rub circles with his thumb into her shoulder where it still rested after waking her up.

"No—never mind." Olivia quickly stated, shaking her head.

"Can I come up?" he asked blindly, knowing that's what she was going to ask, he didn't know what he was doing, or what they were doing, but he didn't care, he was tired of being tied down by someone else, he loved Oliia, and he hated the fact that it seemed like there was always something stopping them from being together.

She looked back towards him and nodded,

"Ok."

**TBC**


End file.
